The Story: Chapter Two

I was wondering what are we capable of, what are our strengths we should hold on and what are our weaknesses we should hide? i got my answers, the only reason in life is to 'feel free from fears!' these 4 Fs. and your life will be less complicated.

Today was my first day of operation theater. Wondering how these look, are they similar like we saw on fictious seasons and mysterious movies that people dying and a superhero trying to come, without any fear saving their lives? was it really mean to happen here? i was full of questions. The need for love i was craving for was disappearing from my mind. what i need to do is to again FOCUS! i breathed in and out and went to scrub in. I was wearing the scrubs, that O.T dress, i was feeling proud. I was not performing any surgery but i was there. I got heavenly feeling, butterflies in my stomach and a big smile that could kill any fear daring to come across my high ambitious motives to do something good, for humanity, for love, for myself and for my loved ones to feel proud on me.

Assisting in surgery is hectic and watching the surgery is tiring. Soon surgery started and anesthesia was given. Heart was stopped because of providing low temperature, and body was supported by a mechanical system supporting the body's circulation. It was mesmerizing to see how human mind made such machines, today i learned the worth of engineers. those brilliant minds who contributed a great hand in doctor's successful life. The incisions were done already on the chest and sternal bone, and that beautiful muscular organ 'The Heart' was exposed. I was wondering how does it really looked, seemed like i was watching some medical atlas, exact fat covering the heart, and area that wasn't covered I saw small arteries and veins. The bypass surgery was done, and doctors were waiting for heart to catch up it's beat. They wait patiently as patience is the first step to reduce stress and hope always for the better. They were discussing matters to ease themselves, suddenly he started singing a song.. ''Dhak Dhak dharkaay mera dil...'' everyone started laughing, someone asked him, was that a song from any movie or is he making up his own songs, to that he just winked. I said, ''How about Dhak Dhak karny laga..? Oh mm i am sorry i thought...'' They all turned and gazed me. I was enjoying the conversation until i became the center of their attraction. I was shy, thinking how silly that was to sing but yet with in a second he asked, ''Dhak Dhak in medical terms?'' I gulped, rolled my eyes, took a deep breath and reply ''Lub Dub?'' He nodded his head and turned towards his fellow surgeon. I became confident. He again turned and asked all the students few more questions, i was ready to raise my hand and give answers in as logical way as they asked. My life was completely heaven inside this room. I was ecstatic. I got the love i was finding. It was passionate! intense! and hardcore! yes!! hardcore!!!

Soon after 10 min the ECG started recording, i was standing at the head end of patient, while watching the mesmerizing view when heart caught it's new beats it was pleasure to see. wondering how fast does my heart beat? does it beat like this? or a little bit fast? of course fast and a bit smaller in size too, cause patient ws 40 years and i just turned 21st this august. I smiled and flatter my lashes and look deep on that beautiful muscular organ. I was smiling, for after all i have this heart and it too beats for some good cause, so here i am to FOCUS and make my life worth living, for me. I sighed.