I came home all the way smiling and listening to the latest songs on my ipod chewing a bubble gum. It was an amazing feeling inside me, i totally lost it when i am happy, i giggled at myself. I came towards the entrance of my house and suddenly to my surprise the door got open, i saw my mumma leaving with my cousin sis for shopping, I asked them to stay for a while as i need to tell them something really important. They came inside but wanting me to leave their hand when i was holding really tight.
We came inside, and i shouted out loud ''TODAY I SAW BYPASS SURGERY AND I TOUCHED A MAN'S BEATING HEART'' :D ''and his daughter is not my little sister in the college and she gifted me a pearl set.'' I almost screamed it. My cousin got irritated and laughed and said, ''you're becoming doctor you have to see these things everyday now stop wasting out time and let us go, we have already wasted alot. I turned to my mumma who was smiling and said, ''Are you hungry for gifts? didn't we give yo enough and you already have pearls actually you have n number of pearls sets in your cupboard, but you never bother to get your butts move towards it for cleaning, you and your life (which includes your room) is a total mess.'' Ok, now i was..shocked? no, i was scared? wait, disappointment running all over my face. Yes Disappointment was the right word. I closed my eyes, without speaking anything i thought to move towards my room but before that they already left. I came into my room and closed my door and sat on the floor. It was me who was happy, just few hours back and suddenly what has happened? Why me? What did i do wrong? I got up, changed my clothes, went to the dinning table, ate my lunch, came back to my room and tried sleeping. Sleep was far away from me and now my eyes were too dry to shed any tears. like one's eyes desensitize. This pain wont seems to heal i thought and closed my eyes, the flash back started...
*Hellloooooo maaaaaa i won the debate, now i am going to a near by restaurant with my frieds for having ice cream i screamed on my phone. ''Which debate, ok that's good but no, you need to come home first and make your plan some other time.'' she replied and hung up. ''Sorry guys, mum's rules? can't go, but sure some other time.'' I saw them murmuring something about me, but i didn't care. not as much i cared my maah! I came back home, gave her the prize money she took it and gave it to cousin brother to save it in the back. I was shocked and cried and tried to tell her i want to go and have fun with my friends. She assured me to take me with her and rest of the family. That day never came, she was all busy these days and tired. She brought extra ordinary clothes for me and sandals that i loved but i still wanted to have fun with my friends. i was upset, she didn't bother cause i never showed her what i felt. She came to my room, ''Clean your room otherwise you will not get to wear any of these clothes. Go naked!'' I quickly cleaned my room as per her orders, i love her she knows that and i know she loves me too, i thought and smiled.*
Flashback ends.
That day and this day, i wanted to shout too, but for what reason? what will make me in front of her? see her daughter getting angry at her? for what reason? what if she feel as if i am not able to tolerate what is she trying to convince me to do? she wanted to make me well disciplined. She wanted to make me a good wife, dutiful daughter-in-law besides just making me a robot with skills to suture up bodies and getting awards and medals and prize money. Sometimes you have to understand from a parents point of view, sometimes you have to put yourself in their shoe. Sometimes, no not sometime but almost for all the time you need to keep quiet and just listen to them, their frustrations and nagging, cause they loved you when you did all that, for those endless nights you have given them when you were small, can't you just bare her anger? and his scolding? and we say we love our parents? Do we actually love them? or we just want/need them? to fulfill our demands, to fulfill the needs and make us look standardized? cause if they don't we hate them thinking that they can't even provide the basic necessity? The basics are still lacking among us, when we shout, when we answer back, when we lie to them. Still we need to learn the basics. Still I need to get the courage to disobey and lie to her, cause i know if i try to, i would never be able to sleep at night. and that should be the relation, of a daughter to her mother, a son to his father and hence forth this is a happy family.
I closed my eyes talking to myself and with me in my arms was my teddy. We were now ready for sleep...
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